Happy.
I have returned. >.> From the land of hope and wonder. <.< BTW, for those who haven't, look up Charlie the Unicorn on Youtube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5im0Ssyyus 2 and 3 are good as well.
Merlin is an AWESOME show. Just watched the latest one. Look it up if you want, but if you need the link to the show online, I has it. <.< The show has a lot of veeeery attractive people, both guys and girls. Morgana may be the most beautiful woman on the planet. Arthur is, of course, a total hunk, and Merlin is just adorable with his silly smile. Great show, lots of humor, great magic and action (I have a few of the spells memorized), and an all around great show. Vampire Diaries is also amazing, and also has much eye candy. Damon Salvatore...how about salivate? Talk about male model. Plus Stefan Salvatore would make a better (and sexier) Edward than Robert Pattinson any day. And the girls too, they're simply gorgeous. Bonnie is be ee ay utiful, and so is Elaina (sp).
We had a great time at the cabin, played this game called "Minecraft", it's slightly addictive. Also played the Eragon video game...which is surprisingly good considering the movie sucked. The books are fantastic.
I love my mom...I'm just able to talk with her to freely, she is definitely one of my best friends. It's so different from my dad. She's always been there, he never was, she talked to me about everything, he only talked to me when he had no other choice. Mom's spent time with us, taken an interest in what we do. She likes our music, she asks about what's going on in our lives, she even plays our video games a little bit. I'm just able to hop up onto the counter and talk with her, and yes, the image of an 18 year old hopping up on a counter IS funny. -.-
Anyway, just letting you know Mom's #1. >.> I don't really think that could ever change...she knows about me, and she's OK with it. I think that was the final thing for me, that I can trust her with anything because she loves me unconditionally. That might be one of the biggest problems in this world, people don't love one another at all, they could care less what happened to others. I really hope I'll never be like that, and with my mom to inspire me, I don't think I will.
...freaked out at how sort of deep that was.
Andrew
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
Latin
Happy/excited.
I'm having a Latin class right now. >.> I can't study until I know where I start though, so it's all right. We're going to our aunt's cabin pretty soon after the lesson...it's so nice there...so much cooler and just more relaxing. We're going to be bringing our PS2 this time, not the semi-broken one they have up there.
One of the reasons I like it there is that my dad isn't there...it's just like I can't be comfortable when he's around. It's not that I don't love him, I do...but we don't really have any sort of relationship. We don't really do anything fun, or if we do it feels like I'm not doing it because I want to. And I don't have fun because I'm with him, which to me is a big part of what any relationship should be. You should be able to have fun doing nothing, because you like the person so much it doesn't matter what you're doing. I feel guilty feeling like this about him...but it's just like he's...boring. There's nothing there, nothing that makes me want to do anything or spend time with him. Maybe it's just that we never did anything together when I was younger, and the fact that he's trying now that I'm an adult just feels...too late. I don't even know if I want a relationship with him anymore, or what kind of relationship we could even have. We're similar in some ways, and I look very very similar to him, but we have none of the same interests. I think of him as a piece of furniture in the house, just...there. Anything I do with him, I'd rather do with mom, or my brother, or anyone else...I think I resent him for never spending time with me, talking with me, doing ANY thing with me when I was a kid.
I sort of feel guilty for how I view him, how I feel for him, but I'm glad I at least got it off my chest. Thank you for listening, readers.
Andrew
Thoughtful
I'm having a Latin class right now. >.> I can't study until I know where I start though, so it's all right. We're going to our aunt's cabin pretty soon after the lesson...it's so nice there...so much cooler and just more relaxing. We're going to be bringing our PS2 this time, not the semi-broken one they have up there.
One of the reasons I like it there is that my dad isn't there...it's just like I can't be comfortable when he's around. It's not that I don't love him, I do...but we don't really have any sort of relationship. We don't really do anything fun, or if we do it feels like I'm not doing it because I want to. And I don't have fun because I'm with him, which to me is a big part of what any relationship should be. You should be able to have fun doing nothing, because you like the person so much it doesn't matter what you're doing. I feel guilty feeling like this about him...but it's just like he's...boring. There's nothing there, nothing that makes me want to do anything or spend time with him. Maybe it's just that we never did anything together when I was younger, and the fact that he's trying now that I'm an adult just feels...too late. I don't even know if I want a relationship with him anymore, or what kind of relationship we could even have. We're similar in some ways, and I look very very similar to him, but we have none of the same interests. I think of him as a piece of furniture in the house, just...there. Anything I do with him, I'd rather do with mom, or my brother, or anyone else...I think I resent him for never spending time with me, talking with me, doing ANY thing with me when I was a kid.
I sort of feel guilty for how I view him, how I feel for him, but I'm glad I at least got it off my chest. Thank you for listening, readers.
Andrew
Thoughtful
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Park
Content. (my friend told me to put down my mood at the start and end of the blogs)
Greetings. We go to a park on most Wednesdays, to hang out with our friends. Today I talked with a friend of mine about ghost stuff, and reaching a more psychic state of mind. I really don't believe in that kind of stuff, but I tried it anyway. Nothing really supernatural happened, but since she said to try to use a memory that would make me feel emotional...I did.
I pictured myself in a black expanse, my mind. There were two paths to either side of me, the left one to a cross, the right to a computer. I started walking toward toward the computer path, but someone was screaming from the other path...it was my imaginary character Neb, the one that personifies the light in me. He was hanging on to the ledge of a pit, yelling for me to help him. I went to the edge of the pit and just stared down at him, my eyes glinting red...until he fell. Then I lifted my head and roared, my head turning more reptilian...
It scared me frankly, because I'm always afraid that's how my life will turn out...I'll be a monster...
Andrew
Depressed...
Greetings. We go to a park on most Wednesdays, to hang out with our friends. Today I talked with a friend of mine about ghost stuff, and reaching a more psychic state of mind. I really don't believe in that kind of stuff, but I tried it anyway. Nothing really supernatural happened, but since she said to try to use a memory that would make me feel emotional...I did.
I pictured myself in a black expanse, my mind. There were two paths to either side of me, the left one to a cross, the right to a computer. I started walking toward toward the computer path, but someone was screaming from the other path...it was my imaginary character Neb, the one that personifies the light in me. He was hanging on to the ledge of a pit, yelling for me to help him. I went to the edge of the pit and just stared down at him, my eyes glinting red...until he fell. Then I lifted my head and roared, my head turning more reptilian...
It scared me frankly, because I'm always afraid that's how my life will turn out...I'll be a monster...
Andrew
Depressed...
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Muuusic.
It's amazing the affect awesome music can have. Even if it IS dorky or weird. Britney Spears, Three Days Grace, Nickelback, Katy Perry (only like one of her songs, Teenage Dream, though).....I have a bit of a mixed selection. Those aren't even all my favorites, I might post those somewhere else. Maybe on my profile or About Me page.
Had an interesting dream last night. I copy/pasted this from a chat with Pearl over skype. I was walking inside some kind of building, don't know why, where, or what it was. There were a bunch of emergency exits installed by some guy who was paranoid I think. I picked one, went out of it, to find a car driving more on the sidewalk than the road, and swerved out of the way of me just in time. Fun times! *shudder* No alarms for these doors by the way. I went back inside, which was somewhere now a long, concrete hallway, (in most cases I would complain "why can't my dream stay more consistent", but not this time >.>) and I walked down it. I take another door (this one on my left, unlike the other one) and wind up in a fairly small bathroom with a few stalls. All three were occupied, but then the outer two people leave, leaving two guys in the middle stall kissing.
Anyway, I go in the stall to the right. I must have stood up on the toilet or something because I was right above the two of them. I literally start poking them so I can tell them I'm gay too. Like that would work in real life. They'd probably be like "...ok, that's nice, now could you leave us alone?". They pretty much ignore me, but another guy comes in. I must thank my subconscious now for making him very cute. Thank you subconscious. ^.^ I walk up behind him and put my arms around him......why can't I be this confident in real life?.....although doing THAT in real life would most likely get me beat up or killed. As I'm holding him, a friend of mine, Alyssa's older sister Pearl, walks in (to the men's room, I might add, shaaaame ;P) and says "dibs". I felt like saying "too late", but instead I check my phone, seeing it's like 6:15pm or something, therefor getting late....then my alarm goes off. v.v
I have never been the "five more minutes type", but come on! That's one of the first more normal dreams like that I've had though....in dreams I normally am more confident, whether because I know it's a dream, or my mind isn't very clear, so caution is thrown to the wind. Frankly I was a bit surprised when Pearl walked in....as guilty as I am to say it, I don't usually have dreams with my friends in them. I wish I did, it'd be cool...though a bit odd if I start thinking what happened in the dreams really happened.
Anyway, I should blog more at some point. >.>
Bye for now readers...if I have more than one, that is. <.<
Andrew
Had an interesting dream last night. I copy/pasted this from a chat with Pearl over skype. I was walking inside some kind of building, don't know why, where, or what it was. There were a bunch of emergency exits installed by some guy who was paranoid I think. I picked one, went out of it, to find a car driving more on the sidewalk than the road, and swerved out of the way of me just in time. Fun times! *shudder* No alarms for these doors by the way. I went back inside, which was somewhere now a long, concrete hallway, (in most cases I would complain "why can't my dream stay more consistent", but not this time >.>) and I walked down it. I take another door (this one on my left, unlike the other one) and wind up in a fairly small bathroom with a few stalls. All three were occupied, but then the outer two people leave, leaving two guys in the middle stall kissing.
Anyway, I go in the stall to the right. I must have stood up on the toilet or something because I was right above the two of them. I literally start poking them so I can tell them I'm gay too. Like that would work in real life. They'd probably be like "...ok, that's nice, now could you leave us alone?". They pretty much ignore me, but another guy comes in. I must thank my subconscious now for making him very cute. Thank you subconscious. ^.^ I walk up behind him and put my arms around him......why can't I be this confident in real life?.....although doing THAT in real life would most likely get me beat up or killed. As I'm holding him, a friend of mine, Alyssa's older sister Pearl, walks in (to the men's room, I might add, shaaaame ;P) and says "dibs". I felt like saying "too late", but instead I check my phone, seeing it's like 6:15pm or something, therefor getting late....then my alarm goes off. v.v
I have never been the "five more minutes type", but come on! That's one of the first more normal dreams like that I've had though....in dreams I normally am more confident, whether because I know it's a dream, or my mind isn't very clear, so caution is thrown to the wind. Frankly I was a bit surprised when Pearl walked in....as guilty as I am to say it, I don't usually have dreams with my friends in them. I wish I did, it'd be cool...though a bit odd if I start thinking what happened in the dreams really happened.
Anyway, I should blog more at some point. >.>
Bye for now readers...if I have more than one, that is. <.<
Andrew
Monday, October 18, 2010
History
This blog will be about me, Andrew, and my life. I don't know how often I'll blog, but I'll try my best to keep you updated. I'm a homeschooled, 18 year old, dorky person. My About Me page has more. I'm a gay Christian. Am I also a critical hippo? Yes. I think choosing that lifestyle is wrong, but I'm human, and I'm weak. I've never done anything with another guy, just so you know, but I've certainly thought about it. I've been raised a Christian all my life by my awesome mom, and believe completely in the Bible and that Jesus is my Savior. My dad was pretty distant most of my life, and is only just now making an effort to get closer to me, which isn't completely welcome. I don't believe in evolution, and I don't believe that I was born this way. I do think I could be more inclined to that sort of lifestyle than other people, but not because of something in my DNA. I've only had one girlfriend, and it was a while ago. Nothing more than one kiss happened, and we've since grown fairly distant. I have an awesome best friend named Alyssa, who I tell pretty much everything to. I have other friends, but I'm not as close to them, and not many know my secret. My parents know, my brother doesn't. The purpose of this blog is to sort of get everything out there, to let everything go. As it gets into a day by day or week by week thing, it'll be more current, but I wanted to let you know a little about my past.
Enjoy,
Andrew
Enjoy,
Andrew
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)